Finding Your Way Back
by HeavenlyKitten
Summary: Ronon and Nalani's Relationship is put to the test when a simple mission turns out to have serious repercussions.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N **_So, I decided to go ahead and put what i got up today. Now there's another story I have that's called _**_Keeping Secert's Reveal The Truth. _**_It sort of goes with this story, but it just focuses on John's feelings when his past love comes back into his life._

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one in SGA**_

**Finding Your Way Back**

It was well after midnight when Mckay walked into the lab only to find Nalani still sitting at her desk doing what looked like paper work. It was odd to him because Ronon was in the sparring room with Maj. Lorne normally where ever Ronon was Nalani was right there. He noticed that lately she'd been spending more time working than with Ronon and visa versa. He walked over to her when her eyes came up to meet his he saw how exhausted she was and knew she needed a break. He sighed as he sat next to her. He wasn't good at communicating with females, but she understood him somehow. Maybe with her it was easier because if he even dared to have feeling for her Ronon would squash him like a bug.

"You, need to go get some rest." he simply said as she looked away  
from him

"I'm not tired Rody, I've gotta get these reports done before morning." it wasn't entirely true they could wait til morning and she was very tired, but she also knew that Ronon wouldn't be there.

Somehow things didn't feel right between them anymore. For the life of her she couldn't put her finger on why. This time she couldn't blame it on work. Maybe they just grew tired of each other. That happens when you're with someone for a long period of time. She still loved him with every piece of her heart, but she often wondered if he still loved her. It's not like he tells her he loves her. She felt this space between them that she didn't know how to close.

"Yes, it can" he didn't raise his voice or engage her in an argumentative way he just calmly stated what she already knew" I know you're tired it's in your eyes." he heard her sigh as she reluctantly stood up.

"Do, I look that tired?" it was starting to get to her. Everyday and night just about she was in this lab.

"Yes, you do." he was bluntly honest with her" Besides I can finish these reports for you and there will be more work in the morning for you to do."

"If you're really sure." she was so tired, but reluctant to go back to the room she shared with Ronon.

"Go, before I call the doctor down here to give you a sedative." He told her

"If you need me.." she was stalling and he knew it

"I won't." he had already started the paper work

"But should something..." he interrupted her

"It won't." he was getting a little annoyed at her now

"Just in case..." he let out an exasperated breath

"I was serious about calling someone down here to give you a sedative." his voice was firm

"Well, you don't have to be so pissy about it." she stated as she reluctantly turned and left.

She really was not in the mood for Ronon who would by now no doubt be in their room so instead she went to her favorite part of the city which gave her the perfect view of the water. If she was lucky she'd get to see the sunrise in a few hours. The best part was no one knew where it was at so they wouldn't go there looking for her. She could have peace and quite for at least a few hours. She made a pact with herself not to think about her problems with Ronon while she sat there. Nothing, but happy. Peaceful thoughts.

John was on his way to the sparring room when he saw Nalani heading toward a part of the city he knew no one frequented. It was a part that the didn't give power to since no one ever went there. He was a little concerned that she was alone, but he also knew that everyone needed sometime to them selves every now and then. He walked into the sparring where he saw Ronon giving Lorne a good ass beating. When he walked in Lorne looked a bit grateful although like all men his pride would never let him so anything.

"Mind if I take it from here?" he questioned noticing that Ronon was in one of his moods which John had seen a lot of since Nalani and him became a couple. This mood was a bad one so something must've happened between the two.

"I'd keep you're guard up he's in some sort of mood." Lorne warned him as he left.

John looked over at Ronon who just waited for him to be ready. He didn't seem to be in the mood to talk which suited John just fine since he really didn't want to talk either. He knew for the sake of the team he should question Ronon's clarity of mind, but he wasn't good at these type of things. He wouldn't even know where to start without Ronon getting pissed and beating the crap out of him. So, he decided to skip the chit chat and go straight for the ass beating. Men handle things better when they in hand to hand combat or in this case stick to stick combat. After a few good long hard hours of sparring John was beat. He was sitting on the floor against the wall while Ronon just paced around the middle of the room. John decided to try and get him to open up a little.

"You want to talk about it?" he cautiously brought it up.

"Talk about what?" Ronon threw back at him casually

"About this mood you're in." John stated not knowing exactly what to say, but hoping that the techniques Teyla had been showing him would work.

"It's nothing I want to share." Ronon stated. He really didn't want to talk about what was bothering him in fact he didn't want to talk at all.

John didn't press him anymore and for some odd reason Ronon sat next to him and sigh heavily. He didn't want to talk, but he needed to and since he was close to John they would talk.

"I love her." Ronon stared into the empty middle of the room. He didn't make eye contact with John. He didn't have to for John to hear the amount of emotion behind those little words.

"I know you do." was all John said as he listened to Ronon

"I don't know how we got to this point." Ronon wasn't good at opening up, but it easy with john for some reason.

"You want my advice on that?" John asked as he looked at Ronon's profile.

"I would talk to Teyla, but she'd give me some well meaning advice then basically tell me to go find Nalani and talk to her." Ronon stated

"I'm not good at the whole advice thing." John reminded him

"I know." Ronon said as he finally looked John in the eye." How can I fix this before I lose her?"

"Well, buddie the last time I saw her she was heading toward the east side of the city." John said simply

"You want me to go talk to her." it wasn't a question.

"Well, it would be nice for you two to talk, but should things go a little more." John smiled at Ronon" Women like to know they're wanted. Even when they look their worst they want to hear they are still the most beautiful woman to you. It's all the little thing that get forgotten when you're with someone for so long that really count."Ronon stood up and started toward the door

"Where are you going?" John asked as he too stood up

"To find Nalani." he said as he walked out of the room


	2. 2

_**Disclaimer: I own nada**_

**Chapter Two**

The breeze off the waters blew through Nalani's hair and across her skin as the sun slowly started to wake up. The smell of the ocean was wonderful. Nalani was leaning on the rail as she took in the view and in haled the smell. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine a place far from here. She was leaning so much on the rail that her feet barley touched the ground. She heard this funny creaking sound as she went to put less weight on the rail it snapped causing her to fall out toward the water. She screamed as she held onto the fragile metal dangling above the water. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest in hurt. Her arms ached from holding all her weight. If she fell there was a chance she could miss the water and go crashing down on part of the city. She was terrified. She screamed again and remembered she still wore her ear piece. As she carefully maneuvered one hand up to touch it she frantically yelled for anyone to help her. She explained her situation.

"Nalani this is John Ronon is on his way as well as me. Just hang on." he said to her

"Hang on he says to the girl dangling above the city on a rail." Her voice was shaking as she tried to calm down as the rail broke away a little more. When Ronon's face came into view she felt relived. All night she had been avoiding him and here he was to save her." Ronon thank god you're here."

"Can you reach out to me?" he questioned as he stretched out his arms to her

"I can't quite reach them." she said as she reached as fast she could with one arm.

Ronon risked his life as he leaned more toward her enough so he could grabbed her outstretched arm. He pulled her up toward him. Even when she was safe from harm he didn't stop until she was in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her so tight she almost couldn't breath.

"Can you stand?" he asked as he looked at her leg which was now bleeding.

"I almost died." she said not noticing her leg as her eyes met his" You saved me."

"Did you ever doubt I would?" he questioned as he searched her eyes.

"Not for a second." She said softly "Things haven't been great between us in a very long time."

"I know." he said as he looked at her face.

"I don't want to lose you Ronon." she said as he helped her to her feet

"I don't want to lose you either." he stated

"How come this feels like were saying good-bye?" Just then John came up to them

"Are you okay?" he asked sensing he walked in on something, but he needed to know if she was okay.

"Yeah." she said as she moved away from Ronon. Being near him hurt to bad right now, but the full pressure of her weight on her injured leg sent her right back into his arms.

"I got you." he said needing to holding her for as long as he could.

She allowed him to help her to the infirmary. Once there he left her in care of the doctor's.

"You two didn't talk did you?" John questioned

"Not exactly since she nearly died." he said" I'm gonna stick around until the doc's done with her."

"I'll let you know if I need you." John said as he left him alone.

Ronon went back to Nalani who was laying in bed.

"Hey." she said softly as her eyes met his and she saw the pain in their depths.

"You ok?" he asked as he sat next to her and lightly caressed her hand

"Yeah thanks to you." she said feeling bitter sweet about him being near her.

"How did we get to this point?" was all he asked. Simple yet very complex.

"I don't know." she said as she fought the urge to cry." I still love you very much." a lump form in her throat making it hard for her to speak.

"I know you do." he wasn't good at this stuff, but somehow it didn't seem to matter right now.

"Then why does this feel like good-bye?" tears started to fall why couldn't he just say he loved her or that he needed her to stay with him.

"It doesn't have to be." he said wanting to stay with her, but if she wanted to leave than he couldn't make her stay it wouldn't be fare to her or him self. No matter how much it would kill him.

"Ronon somewhere in our relationship we stopped trying because we took for granted that we'd always be together." she informed him softly why couldn't he just say he loved her. He needed her. She'd stay and fight for them if he did because that would mean they still had a chance.

"If you're not happy with us then I can't make you stay." he said as he felt an utter sadness deep within his self.

"Can you honestly say you're happy with us the way we are now?" she questioned as she looked deep into his eyes searching for something.

"We can fix it." he said not willing to let her go just yet.

"I'm very tired I need to rest." she said tired of arguing with him and not willing to say it was over either.

"Yeah you've been through a lot today. I'll let you rest, but don't think this is over." he said as he looked down at her face then left.


	3. 3

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything in SGA**_

**Chapter Three**

"Hey there lass you look a bit sad." Carson said as he was walking down a flight of stairs and saw Nalani sitting in the middle just staring into space with a very sad look across her face.

"How can you love someone so deeply one minute and the next they feel like a complete stranger to you." her voice was low as Carson sat next to her he thought very carefully about what he would say to her.

"Love is very complicated." he started as he put his hand on top of hers as a gesture of comfort" Sometimes when you're with someone for a long time you forget that you're suppose to let them know how much they mean to you." he looked over at her

"Can you fix it even when the other person's feelings may have changed?" she asked as she looked into his face.

"You can't make someone stay where they are not happy, but if it's Ronon you're talking about." he paused because he saw the sadness in the depths of her eyes. It hurt him even though the two weren't that close. "You know he's been through a lot I believe what he felt for you is still there he just doesn't know how to say it."

"I think you're right. It is Ronon after all." she said as she began to hope a little of Carson said was right.

"Feel better now?" he asked as he gave her a comforting smile.

"Yeah I actually do." she said as she stood up with Carson.

"I'm glad I could help if you need me I'll be in the infirmary." He told her softly

"I thought everyone had the day off today." she said to him

"Yeah, but my fishing trip was canceled." he said as he walked off.

She liked Carson not like you would someone you wanted to be romantically involved with, but as a friend. She thought about what he said to her apart of her held on to the fact that maybe he was right. She loved Ronon with every fiber of her being and she knew that there had to be a part of him that still loved her. They just stopped trying to impress each other. She sighed as sat back down. After a while she heard some sort of explosion she thought it was something they were doing in the lab so she ignored it. About an hour of sitting there she heard another explosion she got up as her thoughts went to Ronon so she went to the lab to find Mckay, but he wasn't there. She found another doctor there.

"Hey do you have an ear piece?" she asked him

"Um, no, but there's one sitting by your desk." he said softly

"Do you know where that explosion came from?" she asked

"Something with a patient that Dr. Beckett was operating on. I'm not sure I just over heard Dr. Mckay talking about it." he said softly as he walked off

"This is Dr. Nalani Somner. Can someone please tell me what the hell just happened.?" she was scared to death that maybe something had happened to Ronon. It seemed to take forever for someone to respond to her andj ust when she was to repeat her words sheh eard a static then John's voice.

"Nalani?" John's voice came over the ear piece.

"John, were are you? Is Ronon with you?" she didn't care if she sounded scared or not this was about the man she loved. At this moment she realized that no matter what she couldn't let go of him. She couldn't imagine a life without him in it.

"Yes, he is, where you at?" he asked

"The lab about to walk out to find you?" she said as she paused in the doorway. J

ohn had informed her of what the explosions were about and that the last had taken Dr. Carson Beckett's life. She was stunned and just stood there not knowing what to do.

"Ronon's on his way to you now." John said to her as she sat in the nearest seat to her.

She took the ear piece out of her ear. She had just talk to him not to long ago. It was because of him that she didn't give up on her and Ronon's relationship. How could this have happened to such a great man? She was still sitting down as Ronon reached her.

"Thank god you're okay." both of them said as they saw each other

You couldn't tell who moved first, but the end result was that they both ended up in each other's arms. Relived that the other was okay. There was no kissing just holding each other. Something they hadn't done a lot of.


	4. 4

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing in SGA**_

**Chapter Four**

After Carson's death it was hectic with everyone still grieving and the extra work that some picked up. Today Elizabeth decided that everyone needed a brake. If only to rest maybe this time it would happen without anything else happening. Nalani was sitting in the rec room watching a video from home that Gen. O'Niell smuggled in for her. It was from her friends back home. She missed them all so very much. With the way things were with her and Ronon she could really use their advice. Well, at least Kendra's advice since she was the one out of them all that would understand what she was going through.

She remembered the day the love of Kendra's life told her he didn't want to see her anymore. Something about him having to leave the country or something. She never said who he was only that he was in the military. Kendra worked with SG1 which helped her. It had been almost five years since that day. She remembered how upset she was. They stayed up all night talking and eating ice cream for comfort. Kendra was so in love with this man that she put him before her own career.

To have him choice his career over her was what hurt the most. Nalani was so lost in thoughts she didn't hear the door open. It wasn't until she heard a man's voice that she realized she was not alone any longer. She jumped and turned around on the little couch enough to see John.

"Hey you scared the hell out of me." she paused the tape she'd been watching and turned her attention to him as he sat down next to her.

"What are you watching?" he asked as he looked at the tv.

"A video from home that Jack sent to me in some food." she smiled at him" You want to watch it with me?"

"Sure why not." he said as he settled in.

"These are my friends from back home. I grew up with these people." she said softly" That blonde right there with the blue dress on is Layla." she pointed her out to John who smiled" Back in high school she was head cheerleader and even though I was not on the squad she made it an effort to be my friend. I wasn't very popular back then."

"I had you being the head cheerleader with all these guys fall all over themselves to go to prom with you." John teased

"No, I was so far from that it's not even funny. I wasn't in the in' crowd, but I was not on the geek squad either I was in band. " she said this so proudly that John couldn't help, but to laugh" You laugh, but damn it I was so proud of myself. I could play the drums like no body's business"

"I'm sorry I just never pictured you as the band person." he said as he smiled with amusement" Now the drums I can see since you like to beat things up." He sat back and she pointed out another girl with blonde hair. She pointed a few guys and then she pointed out a girl with long dark brown hair and eyes the color of the sea. With curves that he remembered vividly. _All too vividly_. His breath caught in his throat. _How long had it been?_

"That girl right there is Kendra Edison. She's my best friend." as she listened to Kendra tell her how much she missed her she got a little sad." We went to high school together. We went to the same college, even joined the stargate program together." a little tear went down her cheek un checked." I could really use her right now." John heard the sadness in her voice and knew she was thinking of Ronon right now.

The video went off and as she took it out he saw the tears still in her eyes.

"Do, you want to go back home for a week or two?" he asked hoping she didn't see his reaction to seeing Kendra.

"I'd love too, but I've got a lot of work to finish up here." She paused softly as her thoughts went to Carson." Since everything that has happened everyone has a lot to do until the new doctor gets here." She smiled at him softly." I'll be okay I just gotta figure this out on my own. Thanks for watching this with me."

"Anytime." he said as he looked at her" How about I see what we can do about getting you home at least for a week."

"Really I'm fine." she insisted even though her heart was screaming to take his offer.

"Well, I'll check anyway can't have any of my people being sad." He said as he gently touched her cheek then left her with her memories.

Ronon was on his way to the sparring room when he saw John coming out of the rec room. He shrugged guessing he was watching some old movie or game he had from home. He was just about to pass the room up when Nalani came out and they collided with each other. He instinctively reached out to steady her. Their eyes met. He saw tears that she refused to let fall glistening in the depths. His hands still around her waist he looked into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked not wanting her shed tears over their problems.

"Nothing." she said she removed his hand from her waist.

"It's something." he said to her as he reluctantly let go of her

"I was watching a tape of my friends from back home with John and it reminded me of how much I miss home." she brought her eyes back up to meet his hoping he would get that she meant home in every sense of the word and that it was related to him. They needed to talk so bad it wasn't even in the least bit funny.

"I know the feeling in a way." he said softly as she went back into the rec room and he followed her.

"Ronon we need to talk." she said as she sat down on the sofa and waited for him to sit next to her" In light of recent events I've been reevaluating our relationship." their eyes met again

"Before you finish let me say something." he interrupted her" I have been looking back at our relationship too. During the explosions I thought you were caught in the first one and for the second time in my life I felt what it was like to lose the woman I love." he paused as he felt this powerful emotion come over him." I know things have not been right between us, but I'd like to try again." he remembered his conversation with John and thought maybe he was right. It was the little things that really counted in the end.

"Ronon, I." she started, but he placed two fingers across her lips to keep her quite.

"Let me finish." his voice was low as he continued." I've realized that I don't say I love you enough. I thought you always knew. I don't show you everyday how much I need you in my life. Tell me what I can do to make you happy again." he grabbed her hands in his as he held her eyes.

"Ronon, it's not just you who has failed to say I love you or to show you how much you mean to me." she was ecstatic that he wanted to work on their relationship. "This won't be a over night thing."

"I'm willing to work it out no matter how long it takes." he said to her as he felt this wash of relief come over him.

"It's not going to be easy either." she informed him

"I wouldn't want it to be." he said softly

"We'll have to do the whole dating thing so that we can reconnect with each other." they never did do the dating thing.

"Back home we have this custom when lovers find that they have falling away from each other such as we have. They go to a place where no one can bother them for how ever long it takes for them to find their way back to each other." he said as he held her eyes with such intensity

"That's what we should do, but I think if we go missing for a while they'll send a search party out for us." she said softly wishing that they could go some place where no one could find them and reconnect with each other.

"Then we'll do this dating thing you suggested." he said

"It's actually similar to yours with the exception of us going away from everyone. We'll start with a nice dinner in a place that isn't our room. Oh, and Ronon there's no sex until we work things out." She held her ground even when he did this low growl.

"Then we'd better get started on working things out." he said as he kissed her deeply" You said no sex you didn't say I couldn't kiss you.

"  
"God, but you are an impossible man." she said with a smile

"You're an impossible woman, but you don't see me complaining." He said as he kissed her again, but this time on the forehead" I'm gonna go do some sparring, you come to me when you're ready for this date and we'll pick a place together somewhere away from Atlantis." he got up and left.

Nalani felt like they had overcome some sort of obstacle and now they were on their way back to the happiness they once had. She almost wished she hadn't said they'd have no sex until their problems were fixed, but she was right to say that because until they fixed what was wrong in their relationship it would always come back to the surface.


	5. 5

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing in SGA world.**_

**Chapter Five  
**  
It was near sunset when John finally had a clear enough head to do anything. He didn't realize how effected he was back just seeing Kendra. How long had it actually been since he last saw her? It was the day he left for Atlantis. He thought he would never get a chance to come back. It wasn't fair to her to ask her to wait for him to come home. She needed to be happy and if that was with someone else then he'd be happy for her. He had hurt her when he told her he didn't want to be with her anymore.

It hurt him to say those words to her. Even though he wasn't into marriage she nearly changed his mind. When they were together it was like magic. He never knew she and Nalani knew each other. They were together for years and she never mentioned any of her friends. Then again they didn't really talk much about their friends. Family or anything. They talked about their future together.

Kendra Edison was the one part of his past that he would never share with anyone. Not even Teyla. Teyla she was waiting for him in the infirmary she'd been visiting her people when one of them got sick and she brought them here. He rushed off toward the infirmary where he found Teyla with her friend. She saw him and smiled.

"Hey sorry I was with Nalani she was watching a tap of her friends from back home and she got a little sad." he said softly

"A tape?" Teyla questioned confused

"Um, I'll explain it to you later." he said not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"Okay." she said as her friend stood up and the three walked out of the infirmary together.

"Teyla tells me you two have become very close." her friend said

"Yes, we have." John confirmed

"She is very special to her people." her friend stated

"Yes, I am aware of this." he said not sure if he wanted to know where this was all leading to.

"We do not wish to see her get hurt." her friend concluded

"John would never hurt me." Teyla stepped in to save John from the questions

"Be carful you do not keep secrets from each other even the smallest of them could cause a rip in your love that may never be repaired." her friend said

"You don't have to worry about that because John and I don't keep secrets from one another." Teyla said

John couldn't help, but fell a bit guilty because he was keeping a secret from her. Teyla took her friend back through the star gate leaving John alone to think. He went to the sparring room where he found Ronon sparring by his self. He seemed to be in a better mood so maybe whatever problems he had with Nalani they worked them out.

"Hey, you seem to be in a better mood." John said as he got ready to spar with him

"She wants to do this dating thing." Ronon started as he waited for John to get ready to spar

" Aren't you guys past the dating stage?" he asked curiously

"What do you mean?" he asked

"Well, most people start dating before they have sex or fall in love." he said to him

"Perhaps, that's why we are in this place that we are now." Ronon said softly

"Well, dating is a good start." John said as Ronon threw a good right hook at him, but he blocked it

"She says it's how your people do it when lovers lose their way to each other." he said as he threw a left hook at John which promptly knocked him on his butt.

"Usually that's done before you become lovers, but yeah it's a way of reconnecting." he said as he pulled his self up off the ground. He liked it better when Ronon was distracted enough for him to get a few good licks in.

"She also says there's no sex until we find our way back to each other." with this said he threw another punch, but John dodged it.

"They all say that they don't have sex on the first night, but by the end of the night who's to say what will happen." he joked

"Are you saying she might have sex with me?" Ronon asked as John got a lucky punch in which connected with his jaw.

"Well, if it were any other girl I'd say yes, but with it being Nalani I think you'd better do a lot of listening." he said as Ronon knocked him down again" Do, you mind not knocking me on my ass so much."

"No, I actually enjoy it." he said as he noticed that something was on John's mind." You and Teyla having problems?"

"What?" John asked as Ronon's questioned caught him off guard

"You have the same look on your face that I did when me and Nalani were having problems." he said as they stopped sparing long enough to actually talk.

"No, me and Teyla are fine." he said not sure if he should confide in Ronon, but then again they were close enough to where he could trust him with his life.

"Then what's got you in a mood to get your ass beat by me?" he questioned

"My past." John said softly as he felt the need to talk about his past with Ronon

"Your past is just that." he said" You should leave it there."

"I would've if it hadn't suddenly had a connection with my present." he said thinking of Nalani being so close to Kendra

"Okay, I'm not following." Ronon said as he waited for john to talk to him

"Well, this actually involves Nalani." he started, but when Ronon gave him a deadly glare he realized that he got the wrong idea" Not, me and Nalani, but her best friend. I didn't even know that they even knew each other until today when she was watching the tape from home and there she was." he stated softly" Do, I have to explain what a tape is  
to you?"

"No, Nalani told me once." he said

"Good, so anyhow there I was watching a home video and she was pointing her friends telling me their name and a little bit about them. Then I see Kendra Edison." John's face lite up for a second then Ronon saw a sadness come over him." Then Nalani proceeds to tell me that Kendra is her best friend since high school. They even worked together until Nalani came here." He was frustrated now and he stood as he began to pace around the room." I ended things with Kendra to come here I was doing fine until today." he sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Do you still have feeling for this Kendra?" Ronon asked softly

"No," he wished he had said that with more conviction then he did "I don't what I feel to be honest."

"Don't you think you should before Teyla falls even harder for you." Ronon suggested" You owe her that much."

"It doesn't matter what I feel." he stated" We've been over for almost five years now."

"It does matter." Ronon said as John sat down" If you still have even the smallest bit of feelings for Kendra you won't ever be able to give Teyla all of your heart and if Teyla's giving you her all don't you think you owe it to her to do the same."

"I love Teyla I do." he said knowing that Ronon was right

"But this other woman is a part of your past one that you're not wiling to share with Teyla." Ronon said

"One I've never shared with anyone until now." he said

"You're not going to hug me or anything are you?" Ronon asked him

"No." John said as they both stood up

They spared a little more before they both hit the showers. Ronon had to get ready for his first date with Nalani and John needed to reassure his self of his love for Teyla.


	6. 6

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or thing in SGA**_

**Chapter Six**

Nalani had gotten the okay from Elizabeth for her and Ronon to go off world. She explained to her the way things had been with Ronon. Elizabeth being the romantic at heart understood and gave her okay with a wished luck. So, here she was waiting on Ronon. They were going to the main land to have a picnic. Which brought her to were the dress she had on. It was a sun dress that was pure white and button from the low neck line to mid stomach. She even had little sandals to go with it. Something Sam had smuggled in for her. She wondering if Sam actually picked it out or had someone do it. She wore her hair up in a pony tail. Ronon was taking so long hat she thought he wasn't going to show up. She sat on the steps leading to gate waiting for him. She even had the cook prepare a very good basket.

"Hey you look beautiful dare I ask if it's me you're waiting on?" Dr. Branton said to her as he came over to her

"Well, that depends on if my date actually shows up or not." She stated with a smile

"If he doesn't show up he's an idiot for standing you up." he said " Let me know and I'll be happy to help you make him jealous."

"I'll keep that in mind." she said as he sat next to her

"Besides helping you might help me help myself." he said as his eyes caught Elizabeth's

"Don't tell me you're interested in Dr. Elizabeth Weir." she said surprised

"Yes, that's who I happen to be find myself thinking about." he said as he stood up" But I won't bore you with the details of my none existent personal life."

"A woman likes to be persuade, but she also likes to do some chasing every now and then. She's a good woman, but she's very professional." she said as she stood up and saw Ronon coming up to them. He looked at Dr. Brandon like he wanted to kill him right where he stood." Dr. Mike Branton this is Ronon Dex."

"Well, since your date is here I'm going to leave you two and thanks for the talk." he said softly as he left. He could still feel Ronon staring him down as he left.

"Now Ronon be nice to him we were just talking." Nalani said softly

"I don't like the fact that he was here alone with you." he said

"You can't go around beating up every guy that happens to catch me alone and decides to talk to me." she said " I'm alone with John a lot. Rodney and I are alone all the time some time for a week straight. Then there's Zelenka and countless others not to mention me and Teyla spend quite a few nights alone together." at her last comment Ronon raised an eye brow at her which caused her to blush

"Teyla I don't mind you being alone with in fact I don't mind you being alone with women at all." he said suggestively

"Ha, ha very funny." she said as she got his meaning" Well, what about Rodney or Zelenka.?"

"Them either. They are of no threat to me." he said firmly

"No one is." she said as the gate was opened to their destination.

Once on the main land they found a spot on a bluff over looking the ocean. It was beautiful with the moon shining down like little diamonds all over the water. The stars were much brighter than back home. They ate and talked about any and everything. After they were full they sat there talking about their friends. Ronon of course had many of his friends that were gone. It was at this moment that Nalani saw a side of Ronon she never saw before. The side of him that actually held pain and guilt over what happened to his people. She wished she would see this side of him more often. Not that he should feel guilty about what the wraith did to his home, but the fact that he was opening up to her about it. That's what she had been wanting for so long now.

"So, you don't really talk about your home and the people there you're close." he said after she got quite for a while on him and he worried that something troubled her mind.

"Well, as you know my father was killed by the wraith. My mother died when I was very young. Jack O'Neill has been like my second father since my real father died. I don't have any brother's or sisters. I have a very small group of friends that I am close to, but one that I'd lay down my life for." she said as she got a little sad." Aside from Jack, I've never let anyone get close to me until I met Kendra. She kept pestering me until I finally found my self hanging out with her every day. She's a medical doctor back home for the military. She works with Jack's old team SG1. I think a Lt. Col. Mitchell runs the team now." she allowed herself to smile a happy smile

"When you talk about home you get sad." he said as he noticed she got the saddest look when she talked about Jack or Kendra " Do, you miss it?"

"Honestly." she started" I do. I miss Jack, and my friends. I miss my own bed. I miss being able to go out whenever I wanted to instead of having to stay in one place day in and day out."

"I know what you mean by needing to not be cooped up. That's why I love it when we go off world." he said

"You know John's letting me come with you guys tomorrow when you go off world." she said as they started packing things up

"Yeah, he told me." he said as he helped her pack everything back into a basket.

"He said it was just a trade mission." she said as he grabbed the basket and they made their way back to the gate.

"It's the only reason I didn't object to it." he told her protectively.

Things seem to be looking up for them for now. All they needed to do was be more open with each other.


	7. 7

_**Disclaimer: I do not own anyone or thing in SGA**_

**Chapter Seven**

"Now children we're all gonna behave ourselves right?" John said as they sat in the jumper about to land on their destination. In saying this he looked directly at Ronon and Nalani.

"Why. Lt. Col. Sheppard I think I'm offended that you would think otherwise of me." Nalani feigned shock as she walked with a bounce that made her hair swing from side to side.

"Besides if anything happens Nalani could always beat someone up with her hair." Rodney said" Careful you could put my eye with it." he said as she stopped bouncing so much

"You think I could use my hair as a weapon." she beamed

"Yeah I could see it now, on the reports when it says what weapon was used you say it was your hair." Rodney actually liked their joking. Nalani was the only girl he could talk to without getting all nervous. That mainly being because he was too afraid of Ronon to think of her in anyway, but friendly

"Like I said." he couldn't help but smile at her

"I haven't been off world with you in how long and this is how I get treated." she was in good spirits and this was a simple enough mission she actually let her guard down." Why I've never..."

"And you never will if you don't keep quite." Rodney said

"Don't tell her to keep quite." Ronon stepped in

"Now see this is what I meant." John said as he moved a branch out of his way.

"Aw Ronon don't beat Rodney up he's just being his self." Nalani said as she tripped over something hitting the ground hard. "Ow" it sounded more like a cat noise than actually pain.

John and Teyla turned to see what was the cause of the noise.

"See this would not have happened had you three been behaving like I asked you to." John said as he helped Nalani up from the ground." Are you okay?" he did a quick survey to make sure she had no injuries

"Yeah." Nalani said

"It's not my fault she's a klutz." Rodney said defensively

"It won't be my fault if you happen to fall down too." Ronon said protectively

"Pipe down." John said as he strained his ears to listen

Nalani nearly held her breath waiting for a sign that everything was okay.

"I feel them." Teyla said softly" They are very close." Ronon instinctive moved Nalani behind him.

"I'm picking up wraith life signs everywhere." Rodney said as he now looked down at the life sign detector he had.

"Okay this is about to get very ugly" John said " Nalani, Rodney take cover no matter what stay with us." Him, Teyla and Ronon formed a barrier around the two so that the wraith couldn't get to them without going through the three of them first.

No sooner had the words left his mouth they were attacked by a large amount of Wraith. The attack was brought on with such force if it hadn't been for Teyla's warning they might not have been prepared. Somehow Nalani and Ronon found themselves separated from the rest of their team. Nalani had taken a knife of Ronon's that was in a pocket on his pants. She couldn't let him fight alone she had to defend them too. As a wraith came at her she stabbed them before they could reach her. She actually like the knife she held because she also used it to deflect the wraith's gun when fired at her. The knife had a huge blade, but it was light enough that she could wield it easily.

Her back was to Ronon's back as they fought off the wraith. Just when she thought they had the upper hand she felt Ronon sudden move from behind her then she heard this thump. She whirled around and saw Ronon on the ground and a wraith standing over him. She lunged toward them covering Ronon's body with hers. It was at this point she realized he was unconscious. The wraith paused as it looked at her. She could almost swear she saw understanding in it's eyes as it stood there looking at her. The wraith stood behind this one and waited. She must be their queen.

No, not a queen, but she differently ruled over these other ones. There was so many Nalani knew she couldn't win and with Ronon unconscious. She swallowed against the lump in her throat.

"You care for this one." the female wraith said to her as she brought her eyes up to meet the scarey darkness of the wraith's." Don't bother to deny it I can see it in your eyes." she leaned closer to Nalani" In the way you would place your body in front of his." she paused as if she were pondering something" You would lay down your life to save his?" Nalani said nothing

"His heart beat is slowly fading out." she hissed as she watched Nalani's face closely" I can sense it getting ready to stop."  
Nalani didn't know if she was telling truth or trying to trick her so she remained quite.

"I can save him." she stated

"My people do not negotiate with your kind." Nalani said feeling like she wanted to scream, but couldn't. John and Teyla would be coming any minute now.

"He will die." she hissed at Nalani

"Because of your kind." Nalani Spat out with bitterness.

The female wraith picked Nalani up like she weighted nothing.

"You love him I can sense it." she said as her eyes met Nalani's" You are strong willed. Affection for another is a weakness you can not afford during a battle."

"It's only weakness if you let it make you weak." she said as she felt the harshness of her hold bruising her skin" My affections make me stronger because it gives me something worth fighting for."

"If I chose to save him I will call upon you to give me the same someday." she hissed

"He would rather die." she said

"But could you live with the fact knowing that you could've saved his life?" she questioned

Nalani said nothing.

"It will weight so heavily on your mind." she hissed as she saw something in Nalani change

"You've taken so much from him." Nalani started" Your kind destroyed his home, murdered his friends. Family. His wife. Your kind has taken so much from my people as well. Your kind murdered my father. " Nalani stopped as the wraith put her down.

"There is much anger and hate inside of you." she shoved Nalani aside as she knelt to Ronon." This one has strength like none other. Oh, he was a good runner."

"Leave him alone!" she yelled as she went to go to him, but the other wraith held her off.

Nalani was thrown to the ground and knocked unconscious. When John and Teyla found them both were unconscious and bleeding.

"Atlantis we need medical asap. I have two people down." John said as knelt down to Nalani who started to wake up." Dr. Nalani Sumner and Ronon Dex need medical attention now!" he looked at Nalani who opened her eyes" Nalani can you hear me?"

"That bitch." Nalani wished softly as she started to come too" Ronon" her frantic eyes met John's

"It's okay we're taking you both back to Atlantis." John said as the medical team arrived.

"She tried to negotiate with me, but I refused." she was about to pass back out" Could …save him "Nalani passed back out as they went to Atlantis


	8. 8

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing in SGA**_

**Chapter Eight**

It had been nearly a week since Nalani went off world. Upon their return her and Ronon were immediately brought to the infirmary. Ronon was awake before they even arrived on Atlantis. He had refused medical help until he was told that Nalani was going to be fine. She only had a gash on her left upper arm. The blood they found on her was not hers, but it was wraith DNA. The new doctor wanted to monitor Nalani to make sure none of the wraith DNA mixed with hers, but Nalani assured her that it wasn't possible since the Wraith Blood was on her clothes and not anywhere near her wound. Aside from feeling a bit off her game she was fine. Her and Ronon were closer than ever. They were still doing the whole getting to know you date thing, but Nalani felt they had reached a point in their new relationship that meant moving to the next level. She just didn't voice it out loud. She liked being able to talk to Ronon without him trying to get her clothes off. She felt so close to him right now just by him opening up a little more every time they were together. Her desire for him was a lot more stronger than her need to talk and she had to fight with it every time she was near him. This was why she was in the sparring room getting her ass kicked by Lorne. Lorne was safe. No chance of her feeling this uncontrollable lust urge to rip his clothes off. She noted mentally as she picked herself up off the ground for the third time. She was sweating and tired, but she needed to fight the lust out of her.

"Look, maybe you should take a break for now." Lorne said not wanting to hurt her, but she kept getting up for more.

"You're right, but I have to get better or the next time I'm attacked by a wraith I could die." she used that as an excuse to keep sparring with him.

"It happens to the best of us." he said stalling

"Well, if I had been on my game then maybe it wouldn't have happened like it did." she stated as she took her stance.

"Is something else bothering you?" he asked as they went another round

"No, why would you ask?" she questioned as he easily dodged her punches.

"No reason just curious." he said as she ended up on her ass again. "Nothing against you I like the work out, but I'm really beat."

"You know I am too." she said as he extended his hand to help her up off the ground

"If you want we can do this again tomorrow same time." he suggested

"You bet." she said as he left her alone in the sparring room where she promptly sat back down on the floor. Well, more like laid down. The doors swished open again she picked her head up off the ground to see who it was only to see the reason why she was here and John. Ronon just smirked at her as she laid back on the floor. John on the other hand had this look of concern across his face.

"You look like you just got your ass kicked across the floor repeatedly." John stated as he squatted next to her

"I did." she said as she brought herself to an upright position.

"That's what happens when you're not concentrating on what's at hand." Ronon stated as he tossed John a stick.

It was like he could read her mind. She dare hoped that he was having the same problem as she was. She played it smart and remained silent for fear that her true reason for not paying attention came out. She slowly pulled herself up off the floor with John's help.

"I'm going to leave you two alone." she said as she headed for the door.

"You could always spar with us it'll help keep you focused." Ronon suggested not ready to have her leave his sight just yet. He loved how she looked after a good work out.

Besides she only wore a sports bar with a pair of loose fitting yoga pants. He could see how well defined she was.

"No, I had my ass beat enough during my sparring session with Maj. Lorne." truth was she didn't trust her body not to react to being so near him right now. Even if John was here.

"You're just scared." Ronon taunted

John was just about to come to Nalani's defense when he saw her back stiffen. She turned around and gave Ronon this deadly glare.

"Now, Kiddies play nice or I'll have to separate you again." John stated as he felt the heat of their stares." This is like some weird form of foreplay for you two isn't it?" he handed Nalani the stick he held.

"No, this is where I show Ronon here how much better I've gotten and see if he can keep up." Nalani threw the challenge out. This was the last thing she needed, but just maybe she could knock him off his guard. She felt this surge of new strength go through her.

"I'd love to stay, but I forgot I promised Teyla a night in for a change." John said not wanting to see them beat each other up." A night in would do you two some good." he then left them alone

"Come on show me what you got." Ronon taunted as he came at her.

She blocked all his moves and matched him hit for hit. She gave him a smug look

"Tried yet." she asked as she saw the perspiration on his forehead.

"No." he said gruffly" You?" he was breathing hard, but not because he was getting tired it was a reaction from being so close to her.

"Not a chance." she said. She was surprised she had matched him move for move this far.

The spared together for a few hours before both were sweating and at this point neither one wanted to give up and let the other think they won. John and Teyla came in and saw the two still sparring with each other.

"Hey you two been in here all night?" John questioned as he broke up the sparring match

"Just admit it Ronon You have finally met your match." Nalani said proudly

"No, it just means that you've been sparring a lot." he said as he put their sticks away

"Let's call this match a draw you two go get some sleep I'm gonna need you both on your best for our next mission." John stated softly They left the room with Nalani smiling smugly.

"I worry about her John." Teyla said sensing something different about Nalani

"She's just frustrated that's all." he explained softly, but he toowas worried about her. She hadn't been the same since their last mission. He just couldn't put his finger on what was so different since it was so much.


	9. 9

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one in SGA**_

**Chapter Nine  
**  
Nalani and Ronon went to their separate quarters since they were no longer sharing one because of Nalani's rule with no sex until they had worked things out. Nalani had just stepped out of the shower when she heard something coming from outside her bathroom door. She snatched a towel from the rack wrapping it around her as she cautiously investigated the noise. Her eyes met with smoldering eyes that belonged to Ronon. He laid on her bed propped up on one arm. He looked like he had been there a while. Could he have gotten in without her knowing? She wondered then thought about who she was talking about.

Her heart was racing, but not because she was afraid, but she was anticipating why he was here. He didn't move from his place on her bed. She didn't move from her place just inside the bathroom doorway. Both holding each other's eyes. Excitement pooled deep within Nalani. She wanted to rip the towel from her body and fling herself onto Ronon telling him to take what they both wanted. Instead she stood not moving an inch. She felt her pulse jump at the thought of Ronon taking her right here and now.

Her body ached for his touch. Still she did not dare move for fear she would fall on her face because her legs suddenly went weak. He wasn't even touching her with no more than his eyes, but her body was hot like his hands were expertly working their magic. Her mouth went dry. Her breath caught in her throat. Just as it seemed they would both just stare each other down Ronon moved with tiger like grace. He was like some big exotic cat stalking his prey as he slowly moved toward her. She couldn't move even if she wanted to which she didn't.

His eyes never left hers as he closed the distance between them. He was so close to her now she could smell the freshness of his shower. He put a hand under her chin as he finally broke the silence between them.

"I've been patient." his voice was low

She couldn't say anything for she was at a loss for words.

"I've done things your way." his breath tickled across her face

She trembled slightly not from fear, but desire.

"I've played by your rules." he moved his free hand to rest on the fold above her breast holding the towel in place. Still she said nothing

"Now, we do thing my way." with that said he undid the fold letting her towel fall to the ground revealing her body to him." I'm done being patient." he lifted her up into his arms." I'm done waiting." when he kissed her it wasn't a sweet gentle kiss. It was a raw need filled with unrequited, unbridled, unfulfilled passion.

Passion he had only for her. He placed her on he bed only braking their kiss to quickly get rid of his clothing. The feel of her skin was like a branding iron against his skin. His touched reawakened her desire for him with such force she trembled. His touch suddenly was not enough for her she needed more. She needed to feel him inside of  
her as deep as he could go. When his lips left hers she let out a whimpered protest and tried to bring them back to hers, but he would have none of it.

"My way, my rules." his voice was rough with his desire for her.

"Ronon." she protested, but it died when she felt his lips on her breast.

She sucked in a sharp breath as she felt a jolt of excitement go through her body. It was like her entire body had been electrified by some sort of electric force filled. He moved his knee between hers. He could feel her heat without even touching her. It was like fire as he entered her. It was like he's been lost and had just found his way back home. To the woman he loved. The future mother of his children.

His home was Nalani. The woman he couldn't imagine life without. The woman he wanted a family with. The one he'd lay down his life for and rest in peace knowing she was safe. They lay wrapped in each other's arms for a long afterwards. Nalani's head rested on his chest as he rested his arms around her waist holding her close to him. This time it was Nalani who broke the silence.

"I feel like I've just found my way home." her voice was soft as her breath whispered across his skin.

"Me too." he said as he absently stroked her hair. "I love you Nalani." He said the words so unexpectedly that Nalani was temporally shocked speechless.

"I've loved you since that first day I saw you. I wanted you then, now, and always will. I can not even begin to imagine a life without you in it nor do I want to. You are the one I want to have children with. You're the one I want to come home. I want you in my life until I take my last breath and it I will say I love." he hadn't planned on this, but once the words cam out he knew he meant every last one of them.

Nalani picked her head up off Ronon's chest to look into his eyes as her heart beat wildly in her chest at what she thought he was asking of her.

"Ronon, what are you saying?" a lump formed in her throat as she half hoped he was saying what she thought he was saying

"I'm saying that I want you to be my life mate forever." he saw a few tears fall from her eyes and this concerned him" It wasn't supposed to make you cry." He wiped the others from her cheeks.

"It's okay they're tears of happiness." she said as more tears slid down into his hand.

"Then you'll be my mate for life?" he questioned

"Of course I will." she said softly" I love you." she threw her arms around his neck pulling to her.

He pulled back so he could kiss her.


	10. 10

_**Disclaimer: I own no one and nothing in SGA**_

**Chapter Ten**

The morning Nalani was awakened before sunrise by Ronon. It had seemed his appetite for her was insatiable. She hadn't minded one bit. She had fallen back asleep long after he left. When she woke up she remembered she was supposed to meet Maj. Lorne in the sparring room. She quickly showered and went to meet him. When she got there he was waiting for her. He looked at her as she walked to the middle of the floor.

"I heard you and Ronon were in here until nearly sun up the other night." He said softly

"Yeah, it seems that getting my ass kicked around by you made me determined not to let Ronon do the samthing surprisingly he didn't." she stated as her face glowed.

"Are you sure he wasn't just going easy on you?" he asked as he tossed her a stick

"He never goes easy on me." she informed him" He's the only one aside from you and col. Sheppard that don't."

"That's because they all look at you like a woman and not someone who can handle her self. I knocked you around a lot and you never gave up." he said as he smiled at her

"Won't happen again." she vowed" You know I don't think I've actually been told you're first name."

"That's okay cause I don't know yours either." he smiled at her as she smiled back him" It's Evan."

"Nalani. I had a guy friend in high school named Evan." she said to him as he laughed

"It wasn't me because I would've remembered someone like you hanging around me." he gave her a boyish grin.

"Yeah you're right." she teased." Besides we wouldn't have hung out together. I was in the band."

"Yeah I didn't hang around bands people that much." he smiled at her.

They sparred and this time he didn't knock her around a lot. She did however knock he down a few times. After a few hours they decided to hit the showers then eat. Nalani was just entering the mess hall when John called out to her.

"We're going off world you wanna come?" he asked

"Sure." she said softly" Are you plotting something?" curious as to why he asked her out of the blue

"No, of course not I just thought it would do you some good to get of here for a while." he said as they walked off toward the gate room.

"Oh, you should know in case Ronon hadn't told you we're engaged." She stated this so proudly

"I know he told me." he said as they joined the others who were waiting for them.

Nalani shared a look with Ronon one that was not lost on Teyla.

"Congratulations." Teyla said to her as the two sat next to each other.

"Damn can't I tell anyone without them already knowing?" Nalani smiled as her eyes met Teyla's" Thank you."

"If you do not mind I would like to have a celebration on the mainland with my people for you two." Teyla said

"I love parties if it's not too much." she stated with a smile

"If it were I would no have brought it up." Teyla said to her

"You have no idea what you're getting yourself into buddie." John said to Ronon who sat next to him.

"This is Nalani we're talking about." was all Ronon needed to say

"True." John said

"I'd like you to be at my side when we take vows." Ronon said to him

"I'll be there." he said" I've been married before it didn't suite me well, but I wish you two the best of luck."

Nalani and Teyla were in a deep conversation when they heard Rodney's voice.

"I didn't know you two were getting married." he threw it out there as Nalani walked over to him.  
"I'm sorry Rody." she said in a feigned innocent voice" It would've never worked between us you know that as well as I do."

"Get away from me." Rodney said as he smiled at her. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he liked her. She was almost as smart as he was. She had beauty that wasn't just physical it went beyond that. The best thing was she treated him like an equal. He respected her for that." Go back to your wedding talk."

"Come on Rody you know I love you, but Ronon would kick both of our asses..." she went to finish, but one look from Ronon told her not to. That and Rodney now started to blush and stumble over his words.

"You should fasten your seatbelt this maybe a bumpy ride." John said as he tried to land smoothly.

Nalani had just fastened her seat belt when she got this feeling someone else was in her body with her. Kind of like she had another personality. A presences of some sort was around her. Before she could put her finger on it she heard Teyla's voice.

"They are wraith here." she stated as they all carefully got out of the jumper Then she didn't feel the presence anymore" They are gone."

"Are you sure?" John said

Nalani couldn't hear anything past the overwhelming feeling inside of her. It was like she was fighting for control, but she didn't know who she was fighting. She hadn't even undid her straps. She was still inside the jumper. It was the feel of Ronon's touch that brought her back from this battle inside of herself. Her eyes met his and he knew something was not right without her even saying a word.

"What's wrong?" John asked as he walked over to the two.

"I don't know, but I felt some sort of presence then it was like I was fighting with myself for control over me." she gave Ronon this confused look." I can't explain it, but it felt like someone else was with me in my body."

"When did you start to feel like this?" Teyla questioned

"Just as he landed?" she said

Teyla didn't question her any further nor did she let it go. Now was not the time nor the place.

"Are you okay now?" John asked cautiously

"Yeah, I'm fine now." she said as she stood up They went to the village , but it was gone. The wraith had gotten there before them now everyone was gone.

"Let's head back to Atlantis once there I want you Nalani to go see the doc." John said as they went back to the Jumper

"I'm fine I." she started, but he interrupted her

"It wasn't a request." he simply stated.

"Fine." she said

Nalani didn't argue with him she wasn't okay and hadn't been since their last mission. This frightened her what if something happened to her while she was unconscious? She tried to block out her thoughts as they raced everywhere. She closed her eyes as she felt a kind of sickness in her gut. At the possibilities of what might have happened


End file.
